


Nobody's Fault

by I_Am_The_Circle



Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan
Genre: Ace Hearthstone, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Blitz is such a good boyfriend, Hearth and Blitz both have very severe self-esteem issues, M/M, Self-Blame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 12:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8713918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Am_The_Circle/pseuds/I_Am_The_Circle
Summary: It's nobody's fault, but neither of them know that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> They say "Be the change you want to see in the world," and I wanted more ace!Hearth, so here we are. 
> 
> Blitz is the best boyfriend. 
> 
> Slight trigger warning, I guess? Basically the idea is they were kissing and it got a little heated and Hearth panics? And they both blame themselves. But the incident isn't described, the story starts afterward.

_You're twenty years old, Hearthstone,_ he thought to himself. _You love this man with your entire heart. You want to be with him. So why can't you stand the thought of..._ Being _with him?_

Head buried in his hands, Hearthstone leaned against the bathroom door and berated himself. Broken, he thought. Worthless. Empty. He'd ruined everything, and he knew it. Finally Blitzen was going to realize he couldn't love like a normal person. He wouldn't abandon him, Hearth knew. He'd known Blitz long enough to understand Blitz would never leave him. Blitzen loved him. It wasn't a matter of Blitz leaving- it was that Hearth knew he'd always stay. He'd insist that it was okay, that it didn't matter, but it did. Blitz wouldn't leave, but Hearth knew that Blitz deserved better. Blitzen was the best, most talented, and most caring person Hearth had ever known- his best friend, and more recently, his boyfriend. Hearth loved him, and Blitz loved Hearth. But it was because Hearth loved him so much that he knew he deserved more than an empty cup- deaf, mute, traumatized, and unable to give Blitz what Hearth knew he wanted.

Blitz was special- kind and talented and handsome. He deserved a boyfriend that didn't jump when he raised his hand, a boyfriend that could sleep in the same bed as he did, a boyfriend that could go farther than kissing without having a panic attack. He deserved all that and more.

Hearth knew Blitz was probably outside the bathroom door this very moment, knocking pointlessly and jiggling the handle in vain. Hearth waited a minute or so more for his breathing to slow down before finally deciding to open the door and face his wonderful boyfriend. He was sure his face and eyes were bright green from crying and he probably looked a mess, but he took a deep breath and unlocked the bathroom door anyway. When he pulled it open, Blitz looked up from where he sat on the floor as if resigned to waiting there all night if he'd had to. His slacks were wrinkled from the floor and his usually pristine short, curly hair was mussed as if he'd been running his hands through it. He stood up quickly to be (almost) on the same level as Hearth.

The first thing Blitz signed when he saw Hearth was _I'm sorry_ , and Hearthstone nearly started to cry again, because his kind, gentle boyfriend thought this was his fault. He'd been sitting out here blaming himself while Hearth had been on the other side of the door doing the same thing.

_Not your fault,_ Hearth answered, and Blitz looked baffled. He had never even considered that it wasn't his fault. "What?" He asked verbally, too shocked to sign. _How is it not my fault?_ The dwarf looked like he'd been crying too. Hearthstone felt sick. _I went too far, I made you uncomfortable, I'm so sorry._

_My fault_ , he began. _I'm broken._ Blitz looked incredulous. "What? No! It's not _your fault,_ Hearth, it's mine!" He looked so distraught at the thought of Hearth blaming himself that Hearth finally did start to cry again. Tears blurring his vision, Hearth continued. _I'm too damaged to give you what you want. You deserve better._ And oh boy, if Blitz had looked confused earlier, the look on his face now was downright disbelieving.

"I don't care about- that," he insisted, signing as he spoke. "I just want _you._ I went too far and I shouldn't have. You aren't ready and that's okay." He said all this as if he was begging for forgiveness. Hearth felt like he couldn't breathe. _But I'll never be ready,_ he admitted, and then wiped away some of the tears to look at Blitzen better.

A piece of the puzzle clicked into place in Blitz' mind. It made sense now- why Hearth thought he was broken in another way. The dwarf was crying too now, at the thought of his boyfriend- brilliant, incredible- believing he was inherently broken. His deafness, his past trauma, his _asexuality_ \- it all added up to Hearth never seeing that every part of him, even the ones he hated, made him astounding and brave and beautiful. Every part of him made Blitz love him more.

_That's okay,_ Blitz signed, and then said it out loud. "That's okay. I love you. It's okay." The elf started to protest, signing _You deserve-_ before his boyfriend stepped closer and grabbed his hands to stop whatever self-deprecating thing he was going to say.

"I love you," he told him, looking up into the elf's eyes and speaking slowly so he'd be sure to understand. "Believe me when I say that I don't want anyone else. No one could be better than you. I love you. Believe me, I love you." And Hearth pulled his hand out of Blitzen's to sign _I do. I believe you._ Then, _I love you too._

Blitz made a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh, not that Hearth could hear it. In response to Hearth's confession, Blitz stood up on his tiptoes and kissed him as gently as possible, lips barely touching. Hearth made a sound in the back of his throat and threw his arms around his boyfriend, pulling him closer until they were kissing for real. When they pulled back, Hearth signed _Not your fault,_ and Blitz answered, "Not your fault, either."

_Nobody's fault,_ Hearthstone decided, and smiled at his boyfriend through teary eyes. Blitz only nodded and kissed him again.

 


End file.
